Subjects

LING 101, THEA112, PHIL107

I just want to sit down and hear someone talk about something. That's what I thought university was going to be like. Not really. So many questions, too interactive. I don't like the way they teach languages at university. I feel like I'm not really learning anything. French is all right; they know what they're doing. Italian's all right but a different kind of all right, more like, "I don't know, I guess it's all right." I don't like the tutor. She's old and has dyed red hair and high waisted lime trousers that reveal far too much. She makes you write your name on a piece of A4 paper and put it in front of you. There's one mature student and she ruins the formal/informal for everyone else. I didn't like Portuguese. There were only 16 people in the class and we were up to page 80 of the textbook at the end of the third week. Had no idea what was going on, felt like everyone else was really into it. Stopped going. Was freaking me out with its endless homework. Not even assignments, just homework that we had to hand in every Monday. I've never been good at that. Got a nasty comment about it in my report at Unitec. I hated how they'd give you a report.
"It's hard to mark what you've done when you haven't handed anything in, Rebecca."
Of course I didn't hand anything in, it was stupid. I didn't care who the protagonist was in anything most especially The Matrix or Indiana Jones. Jesus Christ, I did not enjoy Alan Brash. Who the hell cares where the story arc changes into the third act. That's not what writing's all about. I forgot about that until just before. I'd forgotten why I was so intent on leaving PASA and not ever returning. Also I commented on someone's thread just before with a hilarious Scarlett Lashes video and everyone ignored me. It was totally relevant, they were actually talking about sex and cake. I forgot that no-one at Unitec liked my jokes. It was because they were all production people. They're their own kind of people. Their own kind of suckyass people who do this big show about highlighters and how they love them because they are Production People. They'd always say things like, "I'll get that mailed out to you ASAP", and write in notebooks. I haven't been able to draw anything in my notebook all year, I always have to be paying attention in class in case I get attacked with a quickfire verb conjugation question. Which I am far less interested in than I was expecting. I don't know, I feel like I am interested in it but I'm not interested in learning it at three times an acceptable pace.
 I kind of miss film even though I like theatre better. I don't know if they'd let me go straight into Stage 2. That would be nice. If I did Stage 2 film and German it would be as if I'd never been a year behind.
I feel like Tim thought my PHIL 107 paper that I want to do next semester is stupid because it's Philosophy of Media and the Arts and not Nietzsche and anima secunda not sure how to spell it tripartate theory something something. I don't know.
Do you ever get the impression that the things you're interested in aren't of as much value as what other people are interested in?
That always happened to me at school because I took drama.
I wish that drama was a university subject.
I know that it is but you know, it's not really. It's not the same.
Yesterday we went to Ferret and I got The Good Woman of Setzuan (even though I hate that translation, it should be the Good Person of Szechwan because in German it's Der Gute Mensch von Sezuan and it's supposed to be a play on how she is a woman but her alter ego is a man communism capitalism etcetcetc), Antony and Cleopatra and something elsssssse I'm not sure, it was a fairly uncommon Shakespeare onnnne was it Coriolanus? I'm pretty sure I would have remembered that oh okay, my copy just says The Tragedy of Coriolanus, it looks very old, says ONE SHILLING on the front, oh wowzo, 1947. And my "Bertolt Brecht PARABLES FOR THE THEATRE" is from 1987. But apparently was bought at the VUW Anglican Bookstall for $15 in 1991. It also has the Caucasian Chalk Circle in it, which I've not heard of.
I don't know, I feel like at Unitec I spent way too much of every day learning Practical Skills that I didn't really care about learning because I had zero interest in putting up an Easy Up or wearing a fluoro jacket or listening to Thomas bloody de Garnham talking at length about the merits of 3D cameras and OH SHIT I just remembered the nodding, fuck, everyone would nod all the time whenever any of the tutors said anything and go MMMM agreeingly and then write something down in a notebook and highlight it and it was the bane of my life.
And then I thought if I did a regular BA, I wouldn't have to be at uni all day doing stuff so I'd have a qualification and know a bunch of fairly intellectual seeming stuff but also I could spend most of my time doing what's really important which is making music videos, writing and music production which are not things that I want to study because I'm terrible terrible terrible at following conventions and getting good marks.
And so my main problems are
1. I picked the wrong subjects and they are consuming my life.
2. Tim has my keyboard in Auckland.
3. The afghans they sell in Wellington vending machines are fuckawful.
4. I spend all my money on stupid things like rubbish bags, toilet paper and textbooks so I can't get a new camera.

Solution to these problems:
1. Wade through the next eight weeks of semester.
2. Pinch him until someone brings it down for me. (Intangible idea)
3. Order some delicious afghans.
4. Not very sure. I'm pretty sure if I hadn't bought those rubbish bags we'd all be living in a sea of rubbish right now.

Not sure if I want to stay up 'til 3am to hear Michael McClelland's radio show. He did play my most successful musical exploit last week.
Computer making a bit of a weird noise. Not as weird as the extractor fan yesterday which I didn't realise was on and talked loudly over for ages.

UPDATE: What the shit, those delicious afghans are actually made in Wellington