Fancy Grass

Things I Would Like To Do In The Holidays by Rebecca K. Reilly

• Go to the cinemas
• Get a new laptop
• Play boardgames
• Watch Bedknobs and Broomsticks
• Watch Where The Wild Things Are video
• Look really good somewhere
• Figure out how to make hair look good
• Do that "tantric sex" thing
• Go on a trip on the Naked Bus
• Take lots of photographs

I was watching a terrible homemade music video on YouTube and then I realised that it's really useful to have a whole lot of quite good looking friends.
I made fudge for the first time. As you may be aware, I only like crunchy fudge, none of that creamy stuff. And the WikiHow article said if you stir it too much or too little it will go hard or not set. And I wanted it to go hard so hopefully my stirring too little will work.
F'cecking fruit shop burning down. Now I have to make my own confections.
Blue is quite a good colour for clothes. I might try and acquire some with my limited funds.
Ms Beck said something weird to-day but I'm not really sure what it was.
I'll breakdown the situation for you.

Scene: A Year 13 Media class on the last day of Term 3, 2009. Students are slowly returning from lunch. Many Year 12 students are also present as paperwork for their internal assessment is due.
B., C., L., enter E7. T. is seated in the back row. The teacher is behind her desk. There is a lot of aural disruption.
Teacher: I was just talking about gbeuajlfuau you and Byron fb aej vaujuvb friendship fueoafbnua
B. assumes Teacher is talking to C. who is standing in front of her. B. is unaware why C.'s relation to T. is of interest. B. is confused.
B: What?
C. walks off. B. is confused as one does not walk off when being adressed.
B: Me?
Teacher and T. do not listen to B. B. looks confused. T. misinterprets confusion as B. not knowing who Byron is.
T: Oh, she doesn't call me that.
Teacher: What does she call you?
T: Titian.
Teacher: How do you spell that?
T: Titian.
Teacher: Why?
T: Like the painter.
Teacher: Oh you mean Tizian. I saw lots of his works in Florence.
B. is confused as to why T. would think that she had forgotten what his name was and remains confused. No-one ever tells her what the teacher has said. All issues remain unresolved.

I like the lines between reality and fiction. Oh good, Sue Bradford is leaving. I didn't like her. Where's Russell at. Although I did agree with not whacking the children and the youth minimum wage being abolished.
My predictive text thinks I say Jew more than Key.
I thought Sir Howard Morrison died in the last century.
I've never been to a proper tangi. I always just don't go.
Why is the guy on the Beds R Us ad such a cunt?
Oh no, we're having Daylight Savings again?
Neh.
Also, my video player doesn't work anymore. So I'll have to be persuasive.
Why is this new much younger news presenter woman presenting an article about how the BBC is bad for hiring new young people?
Haha, they had some stock footage of a person with an iPod and it was the original 1GB iPod.
I would only go to a family thing again if I have someone to go with so I can talk.
This man says making films is like surfing. So, you know, I should just get a degree in surfing.

Oh, Lana Tuner, why were you married seven times in bewteen 1940 and 1972?

Because you did things like this.