Weh weh Whinge

Rahr.
Today, in a dramatic headlining turn of events, "Fatty Fatty Boring Face", became even more irritating as a record breaking three people fell asleep during one of her extended monologues.
This reporter may as well not close her mouth anymore as it takes too much effort to, only in order to yawn yet again. This reporter also feels that no-one should be yawning at 10am, at such an hour when they have been awake for perhaps four hours, and have not participated in any strenuous physical activities such as piano removal or extreme butterfly catching, and is also of the opinion that someone who is nearing the age of eighteen should be permitted to use a long stick to point to people in a theatre exercise about pointing to people, instead of holding two smaller sticks together or indeed using a "Caution Wet Floor" sign to fulfill this requirement.
After four years, one could assume that persons would be familiar with the exercise of closing windows and consequently not need to endure several more speeches on this topic.
In future, senior students will not attempt to organise any lighthearted educational activities for younger members of the community, and will instead drive noisily about suburban streets, experiment with illegal substances and watch a lot of daytime television. They will be joined by their first year university counterparts, who have in further news taken to "tresspassing" the school grounds in order to "watch Theatresports".