Hello, Never

Dreams I Have Had, February 2012

2012-02-03T12:15:00.002+13:00

February 2nd: Open up second hand store with Gabi. Realise it's across the road from Savemart. Sell nothing.
February 3rd: Go on holiday to Wellington. Go to make out with a guy. There is an 6.8 earthquake at home. Everyone has to call their parents. Get earthquakeblocked.
February 4th: Study Japanese at Vic. Everyone in Wellington hates Asian people. I have to ride my bike to a Chinatown type area and make deals with people. In my tutorial a girl I know comes in and there is no chair for her and I don't tell her where the chairs are.
February 5th: Visited Indiana as some kind of assistant to Molly Soda. Included going to Borders for a really specific book and not knowing how to left hand drive.

IRL

2012-01-25T23:41:00.000+13:00

I am trying to listen to Freak the Sheep on bfm. I like listening to Freak the Sheep on bfm because sometimes people I know in real life come on the radio and then I have a small happy feeling that means, "I know these guys in real life. They glared at me on New Year's Eve but it was probably because they were wasted." Mostly I forget to listen to it, even though there's nothing on TV on a Wednesday after X Factor Australia. I am not listening to Freak the Sheep right now though because I don't like Home Brew. I am listening to Chairlift's new album that I actually paid for from iTunes because I couldn't find a Mediafire link and I really wanted to listen to it and it is "Student Hardship Day". I remembered to listen to it this time because it's on after the bfm Top Ten, which I wanted to listen to because I wanted to see if Grass Cannons were #1. They were #1. I texted Alex to tell him. He texted me back one time but he didn't text me after that. I felt a little bit sad but it's okay because they are in Hamilton with some guys who are from Shanghai. I knew that the bfm Top Ten is on on a Wednesday because last Wednesday we heard it on the way to the Popstrangers/Sherpa/Cool Cult gig which was at the Snake Pit. I did not have a good time. My friend Joe Bowman went to try and see this girl but she was on drugs and ignored him a lot and he felt really sad which made me feel really sad but I didn't want to go home because I thought maybe it would get better, especially when I saw some of my friends who I'd hung out with all weekend at Chronophonium were outside. It didn't get better, maybe there wasn't a "fun vibe" or something, I don't know, maybe it was because it was all ages and there were a lot of very young people dancing around vibrantly, even to this Cool Cult song about wanting to kill someone and bury their body. There was also a song that I thought was about going to someone's house and wanting to have sex on their floor but it's too messy but Joe Bowman texted Lliam to ask him later on and he said that wasn't it. When Sherpa played I just felt worse and worse and I had to go outside because I couldn't breathe and then I sat outside for ages and tried to be friends with everyone but they were all trying to get with each other and I had no-one to get with. I tried to carry on a conversation from a few days before but it didn't really work. When I went back inside the gig was over and everyone was packing up. I tried to help but everyone said they didn't need help. I tried to find Joe Bowman but he had gone off with another lady. I stood outside. Lliam asked me where Joe Bowman was. I said I didn't know. He asked if I was going home with him. I said yes. He asked if I wanted him to call him. I said no. He said, "What a dick". Maté said, "What a dick". Alex said, "What a bad friend". They all went downstairs to collect more gear. When he came back he asked if I was sure I didn't want him to call Joe Bowman. I said that he could call him if he wanted to. He began calling him but right that moment he came around the corner with the new lady. Everyone else had gone away but Lliam said something like, "Where were you, you dick". I said, "Can we go home", but I sounded a bit croaky but I didn't want to cry but then Joe Bowman had to say goodbye to the lady so I ended up crying a little bit in front of them.

I've felt really sad at two other gigs in my life, last year at the Moronsayswhat?!? reunion gig where I had come up to Auckland to see my old (but at that time current) boyfriend but he largely ignored me and then went to buy some alcohol with Jess Dew and Anthony Drent without telling me and left me standing at Tabbac by myself. I was wearing a fancy outfit because I didn't have any ID and Alex said I should wear a fancy outfit and put my hair up because then I look older. I felt very sad and alone because I knew that I needed to not have a boyfriend who didn't want to see me but I didn't want to go through the process of boyfriend eradication. Then I stood with Michael Macdonald who was in a similar situation, I think. Grass Cannons were playing Antarctica and when Alex sang "dick in the mouth", he looked straight at me and Michael Macdonald. We both looked at each other and that made me feel better because it was such a funny thing to have happen, especially because it's such an earnest song. I just realised that it's really silly that I can never remember that earnest means "serious", because the German word for serious is ernst and I've known that since I was about fourteen. The dick in the mouth eye contact was a small secret between me and Michael but I must have told Tim or something and he told Alex on the way to the bus and I was really embarrassed. It was raining a lot. I was really thirsty and we went to the dairy that's called Family Superette, maybe, and it's opposite Aotea Square. I wanted to buy a can of Coke but they only had bottles and I only had two dollars in my life. I ended up having to buy two massive cans because it was cheaper than a bottle and going into overdraft for the first time. I stayed in overdraft for the next six months. We caught the bus to Highbury and it cost a whole lot of money and I don't remember most of what happened but someone called Scott was there, he was very drunk and had been at Whammy where his girlfriend had been the photographer for God Bows to Maths, I think. I think they had an EP release. I'm not really sure. There was a cone on the road in Highbury and Scott tried to steal it. I told Alex about how Tim tried to teach me to play bass but he was too mean about it and I was discouraged. Then he thought I was left handed too but I just did the demonstration backwards because I was wearing my fake fur coat and I didn't want it to get wet in the rain so I had to hold it under my left arm. I feel like I might have forgiven Tim by the time we got back to his house, I remember trying to lie all the wet clothes out in his downstairs spare room and dragging the heater in. He doesn't live there anymore, he lives somewhere else I haven't been.
My phone just went off and I nearly jumped out of my skin. No-one even texted me, it was just an e-mail from The Warehouse careers.
The other time I was at a gig and felt really horrible all of a sudden was the weekend before last weekend at Chronophonium. I had been having a really good time hanging out with people who I normally didn't get to talk properly. Sitting on the confidence course answering Tui bottle lid questions. Watching Michael do the most dangerous flying fox I'd seen in my life and hoping he didn't die. Then when it got dark, this was about 11pm, everything got a bit seedy, crushing pills in the bathroom and falling over down holes, covered in paint, playing handball. Nearly everyone was really wasted. I sat by myself on some steps, in between the main building and the stage. I wanted to text Miranda to say have a happy 21st but there was no reception. I felt weird that I was in a forest outside of Whangarei instead of at the party. I just felt weird that I didn't have a friend who was my own friend to hang out with. I don't know. I felt like I wasn't having the appropriate amount of fun and that when I went home I was going to feel really horrible about not making the most of it. I also felt really bad because I'd been awake for 36 hours and had drunk a bottle of Lift Plus and two cans and not really eaten anything besides pastrami and custard. I thought maybe I should just go to sleep by myself but I wished someone would come and sit with me or ask if I was okay. Someone did ask me if I was okay and I ended up sitting there and talking for hours and not going to sleep for a long time and not by myself either and I was really surprised because that's not how things turn out ever.
But now I have no idea what's going on, more typically. On Friday my friend Ryan took me out and we went all over town in his little car and I told the full whole story from the beginning, including all the bits like, Then I had to stop at the petrol station to ask for directions and I felt really out of place because I was wearing a massive black hat, and Then I went into a walk in freezer that reminded me of Lincoln Rd Pak'N'Save, circa 1996. We stopped at one KFC, two beaches, two malls, two fish and chip shops and a park while I recounted my life all over the place. I think it gave me a much better perspective on everything, especially because Ryan didn't know a single person I mentioned. In the St Lukes carpark we laughed about how my brief high school boyfriend tried to get me to like him by forging things in common with me that made no sense. In the Rocket Park carpark we talked about what our Year 10 selves would think about us if they had been watching us the whole day. Ryan thought he would be pleased that he has a car but why the fuck doesn't he have a girlfriend. I thought I'd be amazed that I had managed to have gone out with two people but mainly really excited that I had gone away with friends the previous weekend and was planning to do it again three weeks later. And that I was in some kind of scene that involved catching buses to town on a Wednesday night and standing around in some kind of basement listening to distortion. We both felt kind of weird that we didn't have hardly any of the same friends. We also both laughed because Year 10 Ryan would have been forewarned about an incident where he thought that babies came out the front below the belly button.

IN CONCUSION:

I don't know how on earth Camp is going to turn out this year.
I don't know when to book tickets back because I kind of want to stay in Wellington a couple of days but I have nowhere to stay since my lease runs out a couple of days before and the electricity's not on anyway. I would just camp out with Joe but the nearest campground is in Lower Hutt and the last bus there is really early on a weekday.
I don't know what it's going to be like going to uni and seeing people I know everyday.
I added James Stuteley on lastfm but then I realised that last time I had been listening to iTunes, I had put it on shuffle and fallen asleep so I hope he doesn't think I'm really into the xx and The White Stripes last album.

2012-01-25T22:13:00.000+13:00

Last night I had a dream that Cassette opened a Wellington branch
And I went there but my old boyfriend was there and it made me feel awkward
Then he took a shit on the middle of the dancefloor
With Oscar from Rackets
And everyone told me to "Get over it"
And I woke up and felt really bad

2012-01-19T20:39:00.001+13:00

Every time I decide
To get serious about music
The only words I can think of are
Fuck fuck fuck
Jesus Christ
What was I thinking
You are a dick
A G F#m

*For serious just looked in my notebook and I had written "I'd never suggest your hair was a wig/ you've got a really weird face"

2012-01-16T13:15:00.002+13:00

Oh man just remembered a part of this weekend when I said "If you were an egg and I cracked you open and you were a chicken, I would eat you."

2012 Goal #1

2012-01-08T22:59:00.000+13:00

Dress more like the episode of Never Mind the Buzzcocks episode with Noel Fielding and Paloma Faith.

In Review

2011-12-31T15:20:00.000+13:00

Interesting Parts of 2011:

Had to move to Wellington in one and a half weeks notice
Discovered I have a lung condition
Bought a pretty large organ w/inbuilt tape deck
Bought four omnichords
Was so poor that I developed a thigh gap for the first time in my life
Got my first fail grade (E in Brazilian Portuguese)
Got my first top grade (A+ in intermediate German)
Lived at 4/20 Washington Ave, Brooklyn
Made friends with a cat
Went to parties where I didn't know anyone and didn't have a terrible time
Got learner's license. Did not drive even one time.
Got an Australian Water Dragon for my birthday.
Attended a Princess Chelsea gig after three years of trying
Made friends with a goat
Had my favourite New Zealand takeaway twice (roast shop in Porirua)
Wrote 26 thousand words
Made friends with my cousin who is a baby (Zeplin)
Saw my dad, we had the same lighter (Ngapuhi Service Station Kaikohe)
Got an A on my seminar about German cuisine
Had Pie & Biscuit Wednesday until UniStop ran out of Tuckatime Afghans and never replaced them
Became better friends with lots of cool people
Lost my iPod (January)/Found my iPod (December)
Got snowed on unexpectedly
Discovered watchseries.eu and watched all the series.eu
Didn't get a secret Wellington boyfriend (not many cute boys in Wellington)
Cut my hair and dyed it pink
Went on field trips all around Wellington by myself
Posted several semi-popular Facebook statuses

2011-12-30T23:54:00.000+13:00

Only 24 hours to develop a massive crush on someone in order to have a classic Kate Nash style NYE MMXI

Weird Experiences of My Life

2011-12-13T23:13:00.000+13:00

Trying to go to the bathroom in my house but can hear Dave Grohl singing DOA

2011-12-07T00:53:00.003+13:00

Libra Sync Up

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

2011-12-02T23:15:00.001+13:00

When I came home my mum said, "Do you want to know the X Factor result?", but she said it in a really grave tone and now I am worried my favourite contestant is no longer in the running to have the X Factor.

*THAT WAS RIDICULOUS, I USED TO TOLERATE YOUR MUSIC NICOLE SHERZINGER EVEN WHEN MY MUM THOUGHT YOUR NAME WAS NICOLE SHITSINGER DUE TO A MISUNDERSTANDING

My Hobby

2011-12-01T16:07:00.000+13:00

I like to go on howmuchdotheyweigh.com and find people with the same measurements/height as me and then say "Ha ha Cynthia Nixon you do not weigh 57kg".

Turn Head Sideways

2011-12-01T01:05:00.000+13:00

Maybe I should hunt down Anthony Monroe on Facebook and say "Fuck you for running into my hand on your bike in Year 7 and ruining my dreams of ever becoming a hand model."

2011-11-26T04:15:00.000+13:00

Rebecca New and Improved Ideal Boyfriend List:

Not perpetually broke
Able to brush own teeth
Unlazy
Able to perform simple tasks such as going to the bank, supermarket shopping, paying bills
If crazy, no tendency to blame personal ineptitudes on said craziness
Has several semi-tangible goals
Appearance of future/current employability
Not stinky or excessively noisy
Taller than 5'11 (I am 6'3 in heels) (negotiable) (why am I a giant lady)
Has several communication skills
Doesn't talk about how all the things I like are not very good
Has some friends
Limited desire to be a glam rock singer
Enjoys fun
No chain smokers or drug addicts

BONUS:

Can drive, or ride bike very fast
Gives me a birthday present on my birthday
Semi-bilingual

2011-11-15T17:09:00.000+13:00

Not sure which is worse, finding out your TradeMe customer is dissatisfied and short changing you by $50 or finding out that the man/lady of your preference is touching someone else's bum.

2011-11-13T02:44:00.000+13:00

Town bros told me I look like a Harry Potter skunk

Bad Feelings

2011-11-11T10:46:00.000+13:00

Why Did I Do That Feeling
Hey Guys Cool Pix But Why Wasn't I Invited Feeling
Overbleached Hair Feeling
Ate Too Much Wendy's Feeling
Cute Boys Sending Other People Lolcats Feeling

2011-11-05T14:39:00.003+13:00

Things I am going to eat next week because they don't exist in Wellington:

~~Oporto~~
W~~endy's~~
~~La Porchetta~~
~~Carl's Jr.~~
~~Dunkin' Donuts~~ (I don't even like donuts)
~~Countdown (there is one but it's in Karori)~~
SaveMart
Sal's Pizza
~~All the malls~~
~~Riding around in cars~~
Going to get everyone's number and automatically type in 021
~~Going to not have the heater on~~
~~Going to wear hats without them flying off everywhere~~
~~Going to say One student plz everywhere~~
Going to get a Hop card
~~Going to catch the train~~
~~Going to see grass verges~~
~~Going to know when the light's green because of the noise~~
~~Going to see people who went to my school and pretend that I didn't see them~~
~~Going to put some sweet rubbish bins out~~
~~Going to catch the 1am and 3am buses~~
~~Going to go to Kmart~~

Free City

2011-09-05T08:36:00.000+12:00

I saw T54 the other night. They were very good, they had good accents, felt very New Zealandy. Felt really foreign when I went to Wynyard Quarter. Got an RWC Namibia badge at the RWC superstore. Caught the New Free City Link. Not sure why all the new Auckland buses seem to be modelled on the Wellington airport buses. Went all the way up to Borders to get a cheap DVD since they seem to be selling off everything from K Rd Whitcoulls very cheaply in there but ended up getting a $2.50 40 year history of the Downstage Theatre volume. Gary Henderson was in it heaps. Not sure where the Men's Interest magazine section has gone, it's sad that you can no longer see a whole bunch of Men exploring their Interests through the window when you're walking out of the movies/foodcourt that actually has some nice food like Noora's Mediterranean but it's really dark and yellow and shiny and smells gross. Downloaded Bic Runga's 2001/2 album from Mediafire, hope she doesn't mind because the government seems to think it's okay. Sad to go back to W'n't'n today, feel like there's going to be heaps of people who hate everything doing some protests about government spending, Vic is heaps like the 70s but with more obscure things to dispute and data projectors. "Somebody's Gonna Get Pregnant" won't come off my arm, thanks Whammy.

2011-08-30T16:58:00.000+12:00

Hobbies and interests:

Looking out the window
Sunbathing
Being hand fed grapes
Staring at own reflection
The heat lamp in the bathroom
Voluntary burial
Licking everything

Stylised

2011-08-29T02:05:00.000+12:00

I was supposed to go to sleep early but then I started typing in every song that I like and then [cover] into YouTube and then I decided that I should just marry this French medical student who covered Kate Nash's "Mariella" because I told Tim to book this grabaseat flight a week ago and then I found out today that he still hadn't done it and I said Well okay, you can just book this JetStar one at the same time, but he didn't, he let his mum book him one at 6am the day before.
I DON'T LIKE MY ORGANISATION TO BE DISRUPTED.
Also I feel quite sick because in Wellington I eat:

cheese
bread rolls
avocado
pastrami
salad
plain chips with sour cream
grilled chicken
Burger Wisconsin Venison and Otago Plum Sauce burger
mussels
chocolate kisses
cream cheese
a lot lot lot of orange juice

And in Auckland I keep ending up with:

fried beef
oily sausages
The Works chips
mashed potato
innumerable takeaway burgers
a whole box of crackers

Oh man, I just want KebabStop.
Also I knew 10 people who'd been on Auckland Street Style.

2011-08-22T23:05:00.000+12:00

Everyone at the University of Auckland is very sad because they have a lot of tests and assignments due this week but everyone at Victoria University of Wellington is very bored because they did all of that last week and now they are lying on their couches doing nothing because everyone even from Massey University Wellington is still at Massey University Wellington all day this week. But it's okay because on Army Wives it says it's okay if you marry someone that you don't really know anything about because they're in the army all the time.
Also everyone at Unitec New Zealand will be there until like the 10th of October or some shit.
Tomorrow I have to find a UV light for my water dragon and also my grandmother is filming a scene for the television programme "Wannaben".

Things I Am Waiting For In The Mail

2011-08-07T13:03:00.000+12:00

Driver's Licence (From Wellington)
Camera (From New York via Kentucky, Hawaii and Sydney)
Jelly Camera + Rabbit Shaped MP3 Player (From Hong Kong via my mum's house)
ASOS Final Clearance Dresses (From UK)
Air New Zealand Rico Toy (From Aucklo)
Sample of Beef Jerky Products (From ??)

2011-08-06T23:12:00.002+12:00

Not Very Good University, ColdDoctor University, Opinionated University, Earthquake University, Factory University, Not a Real University

2011-07-27T13:05:00.002+12:00

I had a dream that I found out what time the rubbish is collected.

Things I Like and Don't Like- Week 2, Semester 2, 2011

2011-07-21T14:58:00.000+12:00

Raisins with Marmite
The way the doctor laughed when I scored 2/30 on the anxiety test
I will be going on holiday for the first time since we went to Germany four years ago
Using a cautious tone for calling out answers in German 104
"Der Teppich ist im Wohnzimmer....?"
Seeing a future for myself as an exciting person
The steak and chips I had at the Southern Cross last night
Being early for class
Two years of being a first year nearly over
Philosophy tutor from St Rupertsberg
Next time I am single will be proper and fun, not Never had a proper boyfriend before
Going home in four weeks
Camp will be fun next year because I finally have friends in my own right
Oh my god, Michael and Gabi just broke up
Going to Waikanae tomorrow. Going to eat a steak.
Going to see a cute goat!
I am singing again

2011-07-13T12:09:00.002+12:00

I am in my bed. This morning was really dumb. I woke up because Tim's phone was doing an alarm or something. Then he started interrogating me about the power bill account number or something. He put his phone in my face to show me some text but he didn't scroll down so it just said "This text is to tell you about your Genesis account." Then he tried to make me memorise a number. I tried to sleep. I was having a dream in which there was some kind of performance on and I'd taken my own bottle of sauce to Nando's and Tim's dad was speeding because he'd forgotten to sort out this bag of old clothes and sheets for the rubbish dump/performance. At some point I had to tell someone which buses went through New Lynn but I actually told them which buses went through Newtown. 1, 3, 10, 11, 18, 22, 23, 43, 44. Then irl I asked what time it was and it was 10.45 and I had to leave at 11 to get to class so it was too late. I didn't want to go anyway because my mouth hurt a lot and I was very tired because I had stayed up 'til 5. I only had 2 hours of class and I needed to read a play. Then Tim said all this stuff about how he was concerned about my timetable clash and I said that I wasn't. Then he sighed at me a lot and had a shower and sang Crazy For You (But Not That Crazy) but a lot of it was wrong. Then he came out of the shower and said all this stuff about how he cares about my timetable clash and we were going to get it sorted out when he got home and he was going to help me out and stuff. There was a lot more sighing and he put his hands on his face and groaned a lot. I did not know what was going on at all. On Mondays and Thursdays I have Theatre and German Post-War Society at the same time. I was going to go to each one twice a week but then I found out that German had an attendance requirement of 80% so I'd probably have to go to that one three times a week every second week but then I'd miss a lot of Theatre. I wasn't sure I wanted to do German because one of the assessments was a group seminar and I didn't really want to do that. So I'd probably drop it. I was considering taking up Film instead because that would be easy since I went to film school last year. I didn't understand how Tim was going to help me with this when he got home because to drop a paper you just go to the Human Sciences office and hand them a form and that is not in our house or a difficult thing to do. Uni is really boring, it's just a whole bunch of sitting in a big room with a lot of eager people who care about what they're doing and sometimes you have to answer questions or talk to the person next to you if the projector stops working. Then I had a little fantasy about dropping all my papers and going home and working at PaknSave. Then I would buy lots of clothes.

Jerks

2011-05-23T11:43:00.001+12:00

I'm really upset about this.
It's so mean.
It's just a sign. For the airport. Right next to the airport.
It's not like they're putting it on Mt Vic or Kelburn hill. The only people who'd see it would be people who live way out in Seatoun or Miramar or people flying in.
"I hate a sign so I'm going to block traffic from getting to the airport."
Airport board members won't be driving to the airport today?
It will just be regular people who want to go on holiday or go home?
I'm going home next week.
This makes me not want to live in Wellington at all.

Downhill

2011-05-17T20:55:00.000+12:00

Things I need to do real bad:

Pack all dis shyt
Buy black bags for clothes
Call *123 to change the phone ownership thing
Fuken azzinement
Italian AV clasz
French chutorial
Deposit da $$$
Getz 2 da NashBank
Fuken rent mah room out sum shyt
Topz up da Snappa card
Go 2 da wokshop on hw 2 suxeed
biy a lytblb
finizh Eye TV One Day Ahead covar

Gary Numan

2011-05-16T22:48:00.000+12:00

Our flatmate didn't turn up for the confrontation :/ :/ :/ :/
I found out that we got the house ! ! ! !
I have to move to Brooklyn on Saturday :/ :/ :/ :/
My uncle is coming with a trailer and people who are good at lifting things ! ! ! !
I'll be in a little house by myself for a little bit less than two weeks :/ :/ :/ :/
My rent is only $80 a week and our first week is free ! ! ! !
I signed up for my oral tests and I got good slots ! ! ! !
My Italian assignment is a fictional recount of a holiday ! ! ! !
My two friends and I signed up for a workshop in how to succeed in oral tests! ! ! !
Being on the injection makes my body freak out :/ :/ :/ :/
No-one else had bid on the dress I want because it's listed under sportswear! ! ! !
(My mum hates the dress)
Have to
Have to do what? Why did I write that?
HAVE TO REMEMBER TO FIND MY TRAMPING SHOES FOR PHILIPPA.
Also buy a stack of plates for the flat. Don't want them to have no plates. Or bowls.
Tim is bringing the fridge in one month when he moves in one month from today =_=
We have the most American address in the world.
If you want to send me gifts, please send them to:
4/20 Washington Avenue, Brooklyn. Wellington.
Yep. 4/20.
It's pretty difficult to Google Maps search.

Gates Gates Gates

2011-05-16T12:29:00.000+12:00

Feeling pretty apprehensive about looking at my emails, I normally love looking at emails but I applied for a house on Saturday and they haven't got back to me, why didn't they get back to me, I even ran through Brooklyn and filled in the application at the bus stop and said I could move in next weekend because I felt like I had to beat out the other people who were a couple and the real estate agent loved them for being a couple I AM ACTUALLY A COUPLE TOO but I only put my name on the application because I panicked about forging Tim's signature and I was paranoid he wouldn't be able to find his references' numbers and previous landlord in time and then I thought my application looked really bad because I'm a student and I was born in the 90s and I'd lived in my previous house for three months. Those forms are just out to make you look bad, there should have been options like "Was your previous landlord crazy" and "How well did you do at school" and "Would people come to you for advice", one of the questions for referees was "What is the tenant's biggest flaw", what is my biggest flaw? I fear confrontation? I don't have the self confidence to be a real 21st century go getter? I don't take criticism well because I don't do anything without over analysing it three times first? I hate asking for anything?
I actually think an non-confident semi-paranoid about doing something wrong tenant is the right way to go.
We're supposed to have a confrontation tonight where we confront our flatmate about how he steals all our stuff and hides it under his bed and tell him he has two weeks to move out. Since I am a non-confrontational and flawed person, my logic would be to either convince him that our house really sucks and that he should move somewhere cooler and better (which he was considering doing anyway) or to just move out myself. (Which I am doing anyway).

Hot Dogs

2011-05-15T14:50:00.000+12:00

I'm really hungry and I want to get something to eat but my boyfriend said he can't call me tonight because he wants to read a book so I have just been crying hysterically for an hour and feeling like a worthless piece of shit.
Also, apparently the wall at the back of our house has fallen down.

That Meowth Looks Familiar

2011-05-07T23:39:00.002+12:00

I think Ash and Ritchie are going to make out in this episode, just saying.

Questions

2011-04-26T01:49:00.000+12:00

Why does the Internet not say anything about Good Night Little Robot Child vs. Good Night Little Cherub Boy?

Free Scaffolding

2011-04-17T11:03:00.000+12:00

2011-04-16T22:02:00.000+12:00

New double mattress

At the Salvation Army

You might not care though.

Coins

2011-04-07T18:39:00.000+12:00

Watching grabaseat Reverse Auctions is so exciting.
Could have bought a return flight for four people from Christchurch to Wellington for $130 just now since no-one bid on it.
That's less than $20 a flight! That's $16.25 a flight!
I would buy this Auckland to Wellington one for tomorrow at 6am but Tim has a slide test.

Metal

2011-04-01T19:27:00.002+13:00

There were two new clubs at Vic today. One was the Hogwarts Club and the other was The Pro-Life Poster Making Club.
Not sure if either of these were an April Fool's Joke.

Internet Mysteries

2011-04-01T00:06:00.000+13:00

People I Know To Live In Wellington vs. Whether Or Not I've Seen Them

2011-03-30T23:24:00.000+13:00

Ema & Nicole: Seen at Happy/Fred's
James Stutely: Seen in the McLaurin building/at Happy and Fred's
Richard: Not spotted. Potentially deceased?
Hunz From School: Seen aboard university bus. Asked to move down./ At Reading Cinema complex. Shouted at us.
Media Studies Jack: Not spotted. Potentially never moved to Wellington? Elaborate Facebook cover up if so.
Tim's Friend Katie: Seen in her house. Also saw me four weeks ago but I did not see her.
Laura: Not spotted. Not sure how not.
The Guy Who Isabelle Met Up With On The E Block Bridge in 5th Form on Valentine's Day: Seen at university bus stop and at Newtown Fair.
Marlon Johnson: Seen at VUWSA office. Was not allowed to buy two tickets to MGMT without two ID cards. Did not recognise. Also seen in SPAN114. Did not recognise even after saying "MAGS for life" to me.
Tom O'Donnell: Seen at Kilbirnie PakNSave. Stealthily avoided. Also seen in HM building. Turns out does not recognise me anyway.
Diana Rozz: One member seen at Happy, early March.
Penny Who Was In My Form Class and Was Supposed to Be In Our Flat But Backed Out: Not seen. Would probably be awkward. Good.
Sam Flatmate of Ema & Nicole: Seen at Fred's, sporting COACH jumper. Note: Coach of a Sporting Team, not the brand "Coach".
James Milne: Seen by Philippa on Lambton Quay. Does not live in Wellington. Philippa surprised. Seen by Tim in Auckland following day. Rebecca surprised.
Tim Holland: Seen at Newtown Fair. Offered us the use of his car. (?)
Flo Wilson: Seen on bicycle in our driveway when I first moved in. Not seen again.
Tom Kitten: Not seen. Potentially because he lives in the Hutt.
Tim's Aunty: Not seen. Don't actually know what she looks like. Potentially seen.
Blink: Seen today manning the desk at Temporary.
The Phoenix Foundation: Samuel Flynn Scott seen in vegetable section of Newtown New World.

I Wish My Life Were Less Like "We Have Mice (Boombox Version)"

2011-03-30T12:42:00.003+13:00

http://twitter.com/tstbsb

2011-03-30T11:30:00.000+13:00

Clel reviews tweets now

White Balance

2011-03-29T15:49:00.001+13:00

Defz putting "No-one likes your relationship status" down on my list of Awkward Things That Can Happen.

Subjects

2011-03-29T01:16:00.001+13:00

LING 101, THEA112, PHIL107

I just want to sit down and hear someone talk about something. That's what I thought university was going to be like. Not really. So many questions, too interactive. I don't like the way they teach languages at university. I feel like I'm not really learning anything. French is all right; they know what they're doing. Italian's all right but a different kind of all right, more like, "I don't know, I guess it's all right." I don't like the tutor. She's old and has dyed red hair and high waisted lime trousers that reveal far too much. She makes you write your name on a piece of A4 paper and put it in front of you. There's one mature student and she ruins the formal/informal for everyone else. I didn't like Portuguese. There were only 16 people in the class and we were up to page 80 of the textbook at the end of the third week. Had no idea what was going on, felt like everyone else was really into it. Stopped going. Was freaking me out with its endless homework. Not even assignments, just homework that we had to hand in every Monday. I've never been good at that. Got a nasty comment about it in my report at Unitec. I hated how they'd give you a report.
"It's hard to mark what you've done when you haven't handed anything in, Rebecca."
Of course I didn't hand anything in, it was stupid. I didn't care who the protagonist was in anything most especially The Matrix or Indiana Jones. Jesus Christ, I did not enjoy Alan Brash. Who the hell cares where the story arc changes into the third act. That's not what writing's all about. I forgot about that until just before. I'd forgotten why I was so intent on leaving PASA and not ever returning. Also I commented on someone's thread just before with a hilarious Scarlett Lashes video and everyone ignored me. It was totally relevant, they were actually talking about sex and cake. I forgot that no-one at Unitec liked my jokes. It was because they were all production people. They're their own kind of people. Their own kind of suckyass people who do this big show about highlighters and how they love them because they are Production People. They'd always say things like, "I'll get that mailed out to you ASAP", and write in notebooks. I haven't been able to draw anything in my notebook all year, I always have to be paying attention in class in case I get attacked with a quickfire verb conjugation question. Which I am far less interested in than I was expecting. I don't know, I feel like I am interested in it but I'm not interested in learning it at three times an acceptable pace.
I kind of miss film even though I like theatre better. I don't know if they'd let me go straight into Stage 2. That would be nice. If I did Stage 2 film and German it would be as if I'd never been a year behind.
I feel like Tim thought my PHIL 107 paper that I want to do next semester is stupid because it's Philosophy of Media and the Arts and not Nietzsche and anima secunda not sure how to spell it tripartate theory something something. I don't know.
Do you ever get the impression that the things you're interested in aren't of as much value as what other people are interested in?
That always happened to me at school because I took drama.
I wish that drama was a university subject.
I know that it is but you know, it's not really. It's not the same.
Yesterday we went to Ferret and I got The Good Woman of Setzuan (even though I hate that translation, it should be the Good Person of Szechwan because in German it's Der Gute Mensch von Sezuan and it's supposed to be a play on how she is a woman but her alter ego is a man communism capitalism etcetcetc), Antony and Cleopatra and something elsssssse I'm not sure, it was a fairly uncommon Shakespeare onnnne was it Coriolanus? I'm pretty sure I would have remembered that oh okay, my copy just says The Tragedy of Coriolanus, it looks very old, says ONE SHILLING on the front, oh wowzo, 1947. And my "Bertolt Brecht PARABLES FOR THE THEATRE" is from 1987. But apparently was bought at the VUW Anglican Bookstall for $15 in 1991. It also has the Caucasian Chalk Circle in it, which I've not heard of.
I don't know, I feel like at Unitec I spent way too much of every day learning Practical Skills that I didn't really care about learning because I had zero interest in putting up an Easy Up or wearing a fluoro jacket or listening to Thomas bloody de Garnham talking at length about the merits of 3D cameras and OH SHIT I just remembered the nodding, fuck, everyone would nod all the time whenever any of the tutors said anything and go MMMM agreeingly and then write something down in a notebook and highlight it and it was the bane of my life.
And then I thought if I did a regular BA, I wouldn't have to be at uni all day doing stuff so I'd have a qualification and know a bunch of fairly intellectual seeming stuff but also I could spend most of my time doing what's really important which is making music videos, writing and music production which are not things that I want to study because I'm terrible terrible terrible at following conventions and getting good marks.
And so my main problems are
1. I picked the wrong subjects and they are consuming my life.
2. Tim has my keyboard in Auckland.
3. The afghans they sell in Wellington vending machines are fuckawful.
4. I spend all my money on stupid things like rubbish bags, toilet paper and textbooks so I can't get a new camera.

Solution to these problems:
1. Wade through the next eight weeks of semester.
2. Pinch him until someone brings it down for me. (Intangible idea)
3. Order some delicious afghans.
4. Not very sure. I'm pretty sure if I hadn't bought those rubbish bags we'd all be living in a sea of rubbish right now.

Not sure if I want to stay up 'til 3am to hear Michael McClelland's radio show. He did play my most successful musical exploit last week.
Computer making a bit of a weird noise. Not as weird as the extractor fan yesterday which I didn't realise was on and talked loudly over for ages.

UPDATE: What the shit, those delicious afghans are actually made in Wellington

2011-03-25T11:55:00.000+13:00

This was supposed to be a two-part picture of what I predict to happen in the weekend but Photoshop CS5 didn't understand what I was trying to do.

mille neuf cent quatre-vingt onze

2011-03-23T18:37:00.000+13:00

In French everyone lolzed at me because I was the only one who was from d'Auckland.

What If It's Sold Out??

2011-03-23T18:11:00.000+13:00

Edit Pages

2011-03-22T13:57:00.000+13:00

Fantasy: It must suck for you that you had to move to another city at short notice and that even after a month you still haven't made any friendsReal: Make some friends.
Real: Just ask people to have coffee with you.
Real: Do you really need friends?

Fantasy: It must suck that the papers you wanted to do weren't available this semester and now you're stuck in fifteen classes a week that you don't enjoy but have to attend 80% of or you'll fail. At least next semester you can start doing what you really want to do.
Real: Just drop out and get a job.
Real: Just come back home and get a job.
Real: Just wait until next year and enrol somewhere else.

Fantasy: It must suck that you couldn't cross credit any of your papers and have to start all over again.
Real: (Subject not mentioned)

Fantasy: I'll call you as soon as I get home.
Real: I may call you later on this week, depending on whether someone wants to hang out with me or I go to a party or something.

Fantasy: I'm sorry that I forget that you also get so sad that you can't get out of bed for a few days and just cry all the time.
Real: You can't just not go to university.

Real: You always know just what to say.
Fantasy: It must suck for you that you always know what to say but no-one knows what to say to you.

Exhibit Awesome

2011-03-21T20:14:00.000+13:00

They brought back the Tux ad and I'm pretty glad that I still can't figure out what the words are.
Also I want to eat a Hokey-Pokey Trumpet but I don't want to buy one because it has All Blacks on it and is in a black wrapper. Yuck, ice-cream shouldn't have a black wrapper.
I wanted to be the Victoria Comedy Club reviewer for Salient but you have to submit a piece of writing and all I have are these ridiculous blogs and a 53 page Word document about people who are ESOL.

Disgustoberry

2011-03-18T23:45:00.000+13:00

Hints

2011-03-17T16:21:00.000+13:00

As you may know, I am very, very afraid of girls with shaved heads. I have always had an irrational fear that somehow someone would shave my head while I was sleeping/not looking ever since I was a very small child and my grandmother's cat got sick and had to be shaved and my mum said it was like when my grandmother had cancer and had to have her head shaved. Also when I went to a farm when I was at kindergarten and the sheep shearer pretended to shear a girl's head I had to leave and had nightmares about it for years. I didn't like the Spice Girls as much when Victoria Beckham had a short haircut and I've never been able to watch the Girls Just Want to Have Fun or Poi E videos. Every time I get my hair cut my vision goes blurry and I get a really bad headache.
And today while I was buying adaptors my flatmate shaved her head and now I'm stuck in my room because she is sitting in the corridor flirting outrageously with some boy I've never seen before.

2011-03-14T12:09:00.000+13:00

"No Skype tonight" and other phrases I can't take very well.

Eighties

2011-03-13T13:33:00.000+13:00

Things that are going to be/ I want on my New Website, (typeatone.com):

music/film/music video reviews- proper ones like, "I was in McDonald's, saw the new Zowie "Bite Back video", thought it was strange how her dance moves were reminiscent of a toned-down Scarlett Lashes. etc etc etc a few points to show that you can actually write things; they put pepper on the cheeseburgers again." Which album you really really like. Which book you like. Which ad you make everyone be quiet during. Which television programme we should all illegally download. What's a good game to play when you're pretending to write an essay.
Where to buy cheap food. Which cheap food is the most delicious. What comes in a big can. (I will probably write something about the updated KFC menu). Where do they sell records for less than a dollar
What new clothes you got. "Oh hey guys, I bought this shirt that kind of looks like a cape. It's ideal for wearing to tutorials."
Something to listen to. Covers? Is this the ideal outlet for my long awaited Robbie Williams covers album? I'm sure I used to go on a thing where people would cover something every week but I'm not sure, probably wasn't that great, Live at Yours?
Real interviews. My example to Tim was "More "Hello Jess, that's a nice rabbit you have, how is Kits?", and less "How do pragmatic theories influence wah pedals in post modernity?"." I don't know, I feel like when I read interviews it's like reading a test that some poor band has been subjected to sometimes. And I'm definitely most interested in knowing what dynamic bands have. Whose house do people prefer to practice at? Whose mum hates their music? Who has an awkward flatmate who shows off their vocal range in the kitchen as a hint?
Other interesting stuff.

PLEASE SEND ME THINGS.
Maybe I should put this on Facebook. Not sure.

Arcade Fuhrer

2011-03-12T14:28:00.000+13:00

I feel like if you're going to write a tribute post to a disaster torn area you have to spell all the words correctly.
I wanted to go to the top of the Vic Library and watch the "tsunami" this morning but it was only 20 centimetres high and I didn't wake up until 11.58.
I like to call it the Robbie Burns Library even though I know it's called the Rankine Brown Building.

2011-03-07T13:33:00.000+13:00

"I was just listening to bFM a minute ago and had to turn it off because of the DJ banter. Who the hell wants to listen to smug, self-satisfied drivel at 11:40pm on a Sunday?"

My Hobby

2011-03-02T12:52:00.001+13:00

The faster I walk, the less likely people will think that I'm a first year

Dimes

2011-02-25T22:59:00.001+13:00

Auckland: The Land of Imperial Measurement

Scales

2011-02-24T13:52:00.000+13:00

I bought the air freshner called "No More Toilet Smells" because it seemed funnier than Spring Fresh and Citrus Blast.

Paintings

2011-02-22T22:24:00.000+13:00

Now that I know that everyone I know in Christchurch isn't dead I can't believe Gayniggers From Outer Space doesn't have enough seeders.

Somewhere Out There

2011-02-21T15:38:00.000+13:00

I can't believe this person

became this person

without me knowing about it.

I love Cindy Lou Who!

Fuck this shit.

[image from http://clitalopram.blogspot.com/]

Boughs

2011-02-18T00:00:00.000+13:00

Every time I got up to "They're singing deck the halls" when we recorded Christmas Baby, Please Come Home, I would think it was "Dick my balls" and have to start again.

Daisy Chaining

2011-02-10T00:19:00.000+13:00

Have I finished packing for Camp?
No.
Have I cleaned my room for the landlord's inspection?
No.
Have I told a person who I have never heard of nor met before that I will kick him in the face for saying Tim needs a kick in the face for appearing in a fashion periodical wearing an obscene cardigan?
Yes.
Have I used to Photoshop to make my Facebook profile picture me with a giant sponge frog face in the background?
Yes.

Who Have Been to the Gym

2011-02-08T23:03:00.000+13:00

Thanks TVNZ for letting me choose my own ad before I watch tonight's episode of Shortland Street. I'm going to pick the one about healthy gums.

How to Live an Extravagant and Successful Lifestyle in Wellington

2011-02-06T21:10:00.000+13:00

Sacrifice fairly nice house for more sizeable 70s era decor house. Stick things to the walls with pins/thumbtacks/nails. Invite other people to enjoy shabby-chic vintage-feel lifestyle. Let them take pictures on table made of suitcases. Revel in popularity.
Take on a quick succession of careers starting with supermarket cashier and working way up to second-hand shop worker/plates salesperson. Use earnings to purchase video camera and post videos highlighting isolation in the city to high-class video posting website.
Walk briskly around university campuses with purpose and intent. Appear elusive in lectures. Create the image that everything you write in your notebook is important and enlightening. This can all be achieved by wearing a coat and glasses. (Have to be large glasses)
Open second-run theatre. Can be achieved by attainment of several sheets + tarpaulins and a projector (potentially stolen from a soul crushing high school) and at least 10GB of Internet. And a backyard or similar.
Buy an omnichord.

Metelliana

2011-02-01T23:42:00.000+13:00

I bought a Hula-Hoop for five dollars at Rebel Sports so I could be like the song Mafioso, which freaks me out, but I can only do it not at night because it has stuff in it that makes a noise when you move it like dry rice.

Cats

2011-01-31T22:55:00.002+13:00

Going out with someone who is depressed is a lot like putting a marshmallow in a microwave.

Villageers

2011-01-30T21:41:00.002+13:00

When American people say "fox" it sometimes sounds like "fucks".

How Things Work

2011-01-27T15:23:00.000+13:00

Girl says: Ok im having my operation
Boy says : (nothing)
Girl lays on operating bed
-
Boy stands there with watery eyes without saying i love you
...Girl finishes heart transplant, the boy is gone
-
Girl says: Mum, where is he?
Mum says: They didn't tell you whos heart they gave you, didn't they?

2011-01-25T12:26:00.001+13:00

How do I change my course?
You will not be able to make any changes to your course until 10 February. After that you will need to go to your Faculty Student Administration Office to make changes. Note that many courses will be full at this stage.

BUT I'M NOT ENROLLED IN ANYTHING ANYWHERE BECAUSE TERTIARY INSTITUTES ARE APPARENTLY ALL CONTORL

Cleverest Clevz

2011-01-24T18:27:00.000+13:00

University of Auckland: Hmm, hmm, mightacceptyou... maybz...
Victoria: LOLZ blocked you from our website.
Studylink: Now that you've finished studying, please pay back your loan
GG guys. G fucking G.

2011-01-23T03:48:00.001+13:00

Jesus Christ. Have you heard The Shaggs' second album/compilation "Shagg's Own Thing", particularly the song "I Love"?
"I love little baby ducks
Old pick up trucks
Slow moving trains
And rain.

I love little country streams
Sleep without dreams
Sunday school in May
And hay.
And I love you too.

I love trees in the wind
Pictures of my friends
Birds in the world
And squirrels.

I love coffee in a cup
Little fuzzy pups
Bourbon in a glass
And grass.
And I love you too.

I love honest open smiles
Kisses from a child
Tomatoes on a vine
And onions.

I love winners when they cry
Losers when they try
And music when it's good and live.
And I love you too."

Haters Gon Hate

2011-01-23T02:56:00.000+13:00

I was reading this really dumb blog about fashion, sort of, well it wasn't sort of about fashion, it was predominantly about fashion, but it was written in this odd sort of namby-pamby way, darling dearest chums larks etc etc, but it said that the person's boyfriend was in a band and I've spent quite awhile on Facebox trying to find out what this band is and I just can't find it.
If you know of a namby-pamby blog writer's boyfriend's band please tell me which one it is.

Hello Friends #2

2011-01-23T00:15:00.000+13:00

HELLO NEW BLOG.

2011-01-12T22:13:00.002+13:00

Fuxq university application

Tumbilo

2010-12-12T23:56:00.001+13:00

I posted this on our band's tumblr. If I had written it for my own blog it probably would have been more of an emotional rampage/story of epic proportions but I feel weird in front of people on the Internet.

Things I Didn’t Like About Our First Gig:

The sound guy used swears when he talked to me. (I could have said a lot of different things about this but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have cried if he hadn’t used swears)
Tim nearly didn’t get in because he lost his wallet and doesn’t have any ID. Also someone knocked over his fancy guitar and I was very afraid that it was going to be broken. I think that guitar cost the same amount as my laptop. Including the extra RAM.
I had to stand between a red light and a pole which made me feel like a weird pole dancer except wearing a frilly peach dress possibly intended for a large child.
The pole (which was a novelty oversized pole) wasn’t transparent which meant that Clel couldn’t see through it to see when Timface McGee was cueing everyone.
It was very loud and I couldn’t hear what I was singing except vaguely when I shouted right into it which was a bit funny feeling in a pain way because I have faulty lungs after a run-in with disease earlier this year.
Tim got really sweaty and later on this inadvertently got into my mouth and it tasted gross.
Lots of people looked sad when we played.

Things I Did Like About Our First Gig:

When people sang along to Last Christmas.
Our band’s happy family-style spirit.
When we got to sing along to Glass Owls’ Hits.
My mum liked it.
Our friends came.
There were free drinks. I didn’t have a free drink because you had to tell them what your name is but they looked delicious.
We went to McDonald’s afterwards and they sell McFlurrys again! (None of us got any)
Some drunk girls in a car asked us if we had any alcohol.
We got to see Creepy Santa all lit up.
A crazy old punk lady yelled at us that when we fuck with her we fuck with her family.

What Next:
Now we have to find a venue where we don’t have to stand in a red light/has some sort of air conditioning where we can play a regenerated, revised, more acoustic but not “acoustic band” band set.
OR
Replace me with a large man (potentially an opera singer) to sort out our levels

Apeture

2010-12-02T22:34:00.001+13:00

Glasses
Gig Outfit
Zoo Shop Toy
New Bed
Christmas Presents
Wall Planner
Passport Photos for Ooh I'm The University of Auckland and I demand you send me photos ha ha ha
More Exciting Swimsuit

Pez

2010-10-29T13:52:00.001+13:00

I hate it when songs manage to make you feel guilty.

Big Tools

2010-10-26T23:33:00.004+13:00

I'm pretty glad no-one's ever said I look radiant.

Things That Are Difficult to Pronounce.

2010-10-21T11:52:00.001+13:00

I am moving house on the sixth of November. I have packed seven boxes of books and four boxes of DVDs. This song is saying "In pouring rain I'll hold a parasol", not a bar of soap.

Where's Wally Fang?

2010-10-16T23:15:00.002+13:00

Today I looked at Mt Albert House. It was much nicer than our house but a bit small. It had a nice deck that looked onto the front of the neighbour's house. I don't think we'll get it because my mum said we had to give three weeks notice and the woman wrote down an N next to our application. I'm not sure I want to move there, I'd be able to get to places a lot faster but we'd be able to buy less things and it would be strange having no outside bit. My mum introduced Tim as my friend and we likened it to an episode of Modern Family. Then Tim started calling me his life journey companion.
We went to Sylvia Park for lunch. Nando's doesn't sell chicken steaks anymore. We went to The Warehouse and bought ten billion DVDs including Nice Girls Don't Explode, Captain Scarlett and the Mysterons and The Brady Bunch Seasons 2, 3, 4 and 5 and a Wild Thornberries DVD which was 97c. I went to the bathroom and on the way back bought Tim a Ben 10 wallet from Mr Thank You and he bought me Lovely Clip.

Then we did lots of other boring and nice things and didn't get arrested.

Education

2010-10-14T13:19:00.001+13:00

I'm heaps excited. I applied to do Linguistics, German, French and Japanese at Victoria starting July next year. It told you what time on each day each one was and then I could see myself going around doing stuff in Wellington. I liked the Vic website. It let me pick more than one nationality. I didn't like the Auckland website. It said I need a transcript from Unitec. Then I went on the Unitec website and it told me that I have to mail away for one and it's going to cost me $20. I don't like the Unitec website because after a year I still can't find where anything is.
My mother and I are going to look at a house on Saturday morning by the golf course near Baldwin Station. We're the first people to look at it and the people have already taken the ad down and it's not even a little bit shit. My mum has this whole thing about how maybe we shouldn't move if I'm going to go to Wellington next July but then I remind her that I would be spending at least two hours on the bus everyday going to and from University of Bucklame and it would cost me $56 a week. Jesus. I only get $64 in allowance a week. Studylink should up their offers.
I don't know what I should do about the stupid assignments I have coming up, including oral presentation. I can't cross credit my papers so I can't see much point into going into a lot of effort just for the sake of doing it and I've already passed more than half the year so I can still get government money. I'm definitely going to keep helping with the play though. I assume I've passed those papers from last semester but they haven't been marked so I don't know how I'm supposed to know. Maybe my transcript will tell me.
I'm going to continue sorting out my room. I've already sorted out which underwear to keep but nothing else. And I had help doing that.
Look, I'm onto it as.

Hello Friends

2010-10-13T02:24:00.005+13:00

You are probably wondering what my favourite Mount Pleasant song is.
Well, it's I Lost A Friend Today.
So there you go.

Also, do not play this game!
http://www.shaunthesheep.com/games/homesheephome/

Meeting Negative Guy

2010-10-13T00:26:00.002+13:00

I wonder how many people secretly have a Tumblr.
I don't have one. Well, I have half of one.
We're still looking for a new band name since TB1 found out that I wasn't being serious when I suggested our current one.
I applied to do linguistics at The University of Auckland University today after I got a grumpy email from Unitex last night and accidentally missed a class today because I couldn't decipher the timetable well enough. Not for the first time. And my third Grumpy Email.
TB1 suggested transferring to Vic halfway through next year. Which I think would be super great.
The mother didn't think it was super great and got super grumpy for a time also.
Everything hurts from sleeping on the floor last night. This is because my bed is too tiny.
We're going to make a video tomorrow. Provided I don't have to go to some class unexpectedly.

I do not believe in 30 Seconds to Mars anymore. I'm such a great fan and care so much for these people but do not agree with their ideals. I saw the truth behind the symbols and I can't agree with them.

2010-10-04T22:49:00.001+13:00

grass cannons
gross

Happy Christmas

2010-10-04T01:04:00.001+13:00

Dear Claire,
I just got home from The Red House where I had been since... Friday night. I came home because I ran out of underwear and also I feel awkward when Ivan's there because I don't know him very well and I'm always in his house. Although I am always cleaning stuff up and I bring food. And he's not there much because he works at the Pizza Hut call centre from 12 'til 11 or something. Tonight I roasted potatoes for the first time and made pumpkin soup and sausages. The potatoes were good. Sometimes I feel weird about how Tim doesn't eat delicious meat because I always want to eat/cook delicious meat. You know how much I love meat. The other day I found out about the University of Auckland Meat Club and got all excited. That was on Wednesday. I met Joe and Tim in town because Joe wanted us to cut his hair to look more like Morrissey but then we ended up walking about for ages and going to that gross Sky City Metro foodcourt where Tim got annoyed with me because I hesitated when Joe asked me if I would let a fat man break all my fingers to stop him from stabbing Tim.
Miranda just told me that Titian had a seizure from taking E and not eating or sleeping and now she's cancelling Harry Potter Plans to try and show him that he needs to stop and I feel terrible but a weird far away kind of terrible like when someone dies that you met but you didn't know. I saw him once recently, we went to McDonald's, but then he was all Hey we should hang out, in November or something.
I don't know why he has to go around making people feel horrible.
Um, anyway, on Wednesday Joe accidentally texted his girlfriend saying "I don't really know Kate" which he meant to text his friend Elsie and his girlfriend was outraged that he valued his friendship with Elsie more than their relationship because she hates Elsie or something and then they fought about it all night and Joe kept sighing and looking annoyedly at his phone while we watched Penis Envy on Prime at Tim's house and then the next day they were supposed to meet and talk but he kept putting it off and playing Grand Theft Auto and then they broke up.
Penis Envy was great, it freaked Joe and Tim out because there was this huge as guy and he kept talking about how tiny he was. I love British documentaries.
Eliza just said on Facebook Chat that we've all been assigned to do costume and make-up for the Year 2 short films for our end of year assignment and everyone's really pissed off. I never got the email, weirdly. I'd kind of like to do costume and make up instead of some production assistant thing but I don't suppose I can say that. Next week is my second week of holidays. I had last week but also pretty much the whole week before and we've only got one class during the first week back which is on a Tuesday afternoon. Eliza says she just noticed that only half our class is listed on the shooting schedule. I hope that means we're working on the third year plays instead, that would be much more interesting.
Did I tell you we're playing a gig with Glass Owls? I don't remember. None of us like their music but it's good to have a gig you don't have to organise. We're also going to have an album release apparently, for our Christmas album. Which is going to be entirely ridiculous. Tim told me while we were at that Gull in Kingsland by That Flat which was weird because I remembered us going to that party there and everything suddenly felt a lot different.
Oh god, yesterday they were electrifying the train lines so when we caught the 224 from St Lukes to Kingsland we couldn't go over the train line on Morningside Drive so the bus turned left and then drove all the way over to New North Rd through those side streets near Rocket Park and came back around which felt like a big waste of time.
I started laughing in Kmart because I remembered that time you and Mirandax were talking about how Awful Girl probably uses Moxie tampons and that time you kept doing the power fist and making me embarrassed. Tim also does similar dance moves in shops.
NM is back but not very often and he hasn't been much of a jerk lately.
Jesus, I will probably have Last Christmas stuck in my head for the rest of the year now. In my own voice which is weird. I never knew how ridiculous the words were before. Once bitten and twice shy, I keep my distance but you still catch my eye. Tell me baby, do you recognise me? Well, it's been a year, it wouldn't surprise me. A crowded room, friends with tired eyes; I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice. My God, I thought you were someone to rely on! Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on. A face on a lover with a fire in his heart. A man undercover but you tore him apart. Ooh ooh. Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again.
Now we're doing Baby, It's Cold Outside, which pleases me.
It was weird, it was Michael McDonald's birthday and he had a party in Meadowbank at short notice and everyone just found a way to get there and brought presents. It was weird. It was also great because Alex had had sex with three of the five girls that were there and then they all had to sleep in the same bed. The two girls he hadn't had sex with were me and Gabi. She bought Michael Scrabble Trixster for his birthday, it looked really cool. Her house was very cool too but it was being renovated and Tim and I had to sleep in her small brother's bedroom with garden furniture and two fridges. That bed was the most uncomfortable sleeping experience of my life.
Last night I had a dream that someone came up to me on the street and made me answer a questionnaire to win a prize and you had to write down all the countries in which there's someone who you'd like to have a beer with and I wrote down Argentina for some reason and then the timer nearly ran out and Tim yelled Scotland at me. I had this dream a few weeks ago that I inadvertently helped with this Nazi bank heist and all these people got taken away to Auschwitz in sacks. Then I woke up because Tim was screaming because he had a dream that he saw a woman and followed her and then she took off her hair because it was actually a wig.
I watched a few episodes of How I Met Your Mother for the first time recently. It was quite good.
It's 1am and I can't think of anything else I've done recently. Well I can but it's not very interesting. Not that any of this is interesting. I'm really tired.
Love from Rebecca.
Oh man, how cool would it be if we could hang out sometime soon? Nyeh.

2010-09-26T18:47:00.001+13:00

I am at home again. Charging phone. Three messages. Four. Five. Six messages. Six?
Titsy. 9.59. What bus do I get from Mt Albert Shops to get home?
Titsy. 10.01. Does the 224 go anywhere useful for me?
Titsy. 10.02. Oh no.
Mother. 10.34. We'll leave here at about 11.15 remember its daylight saving!
Tom Borry. 1.18. Oh I wish you were here.
Tom Borry. 2.09. Or you had phone battery.
I am asleep because last night at Michael Classic's birthday I slept in between a piece of wood and the wall in a room with two fridges and some outdoor furniture in Meadowbank and took a train and two buses to get back to Kingsland this morning where I was immediately taken to the North Shore by my mother to go to a baby shower. My grandmother warned me not to get clucky.

Home Again

2010-09-12T23:42:00.001+12:00

Oh Jesus, I've spent an hour watching this documentary about a guy having billions of fat removed and now he's dead?! Bro. I will not be watching you again next week, Fat Doctors. Not even a little bit. Oh right, you've done this operation 1200 times and only three people have died. A likely story.
In other news we had 75 plays today on MySpace, which I was pleased with.

While I'm Out

2010-09-09T01:18:00.001+12:00

Dear Claire,
I got called in to meet with the head of performing and screen arts. I was very frightened. She said I hadn't been turning up to class. I said I had pneumonia and gave her my medical certificate. Then it was all right and we lolzed about how I really should have called and told someone. I am script manager, extras co-ordinator and continuity on three studio shoots coming up very soon. This means I will have to stand around looking professional for three days from 8.30 until 5, along with about a billion other people such as the second camera assistant and the studio monitor. The director is a fancy person who directs Go Girls and she was a nurse on Shortland Street in the '90s. I am disappointed that I missed Shortland Street tonight as the storyline was about Gerald (real Gerald) and Chris's cousin Isaac getting tricked into going orienteering together and then getting lost in the bush. They hate each other so it would have been a barrel of laughs. But I wasn't at home because Naomi was all LolzTim, I'm actually just going to move out so we have to give another three weeks notice so you can't get your bond back until then and also since you're moving in a week this means you'll have to pay rent for this place also, ha ha ha. And then he came to meet me on Dominion Rd at 6 o'clock in the rain not wearing shoes and looking very, very angry. So I had to be nice and buy ice creams and wafer biscuits. Then we had to go and be polite at this 21st and a billion things held us up from getting there including a fight with Naomi, a panic attack, the toilet randomly not flushing, intercepting people from going into the bathroom, me laughing hysterically at this situation, second fight with Naomi, the bus not stopping for us, Joe Trotman trying to peddle us some drugs, and my extensive monologue about how I prefer numbers with a lot of factors leading us to believe that the party was at 56 Upper Queen Street instead of 57 and therefore a lot of wandering up and down the wrong side of the road. At the party Tim accidentally ate a marshmallow which is not vegetarian ok and had to spit it out as we were being introduced to someone. Who was incidentally a large man in a red jumper and small green floral shorts.
The Maxx website is down which is irritating as I have to be at a pre-production meeting at the peculiar time of 9.40 tomorrow and I have no idea when the bus comes.
Also that thing that you said should only be a small amount of mess turned out to be a large amount of mess and everyone involved became very messy and said Oh God and Jesus Christ a lot. We've all become rather religious.
There's an ad on the television currently that you would hate, it's for nappies and it says boys and girls are different and the boy plays with trucks and the girl dresses as a fairy.
You've been gone for more than a month and I still keep accidentally almost texting you. How are foreign lands? George says hello. (This is George:)

This is Miranda. She's quite good, you should meet her sometime. She is also an excellent photographer, as exhibited by our new press shot:

I'm imagining this press coverage involving Miranda and Titian and a printing press and some sort of running out of ink scenario because Titian did it wrong the first time and got ink everywhere.
I'll try to keep you more updated.
I miss you!
Yours sincerely,
Rebecca K. Reilly

In Colours

2010-09-05T23:03:00.001+12:00

Ooh I'm Rebecca and I love my new filters. La la la.

The First Day of Spring

2010-09-01T19:48:00.001+12:00

Jbowman had a Formspring and now I have a Formspring also.
Look, you can ask me a question.
And you can ask Jbowman a question also.

My Friends

2010-08-10T13:13:00.003+12:00

Existential Traps

2010-08-06T22:57:00.001+12:00

"I know what you mean, thoughts are all, 'Buddy! Look at that crevasse over there just chillin'! I'm going to jump into it. Ahhhhhh... now I'm in a weird place.' "

Time Consumption

2010-08-05T22:35:00.001+12:00

My phone has a thing where if it runs out of battery and you try to turn it on again, you won't be able to turn it on until it's fully charged again.
This is a stupid design feature.

Bus People

2010-08-03T21:30:00.001+12:00

"Hi Matt!"
"Hi! I didn't see you there, when you're looking for a seat on the bus you never seem to look at the people... How have you been!"
"I've been really great, how about you?"
"My girlfriend's dad's cat is being put down and they'd had it for fifteen years so I'm just going over there to be with them... How's your course going?"

Seeing Other People

2010-07-30T23:32:00.003+12:00

I'm scared of loud noises because I think they might be the start of the world exploding.

Colouring Pencils

2010-07-29T00:12:00.001+12:00

I am jealous of those people who join Facebook groups that are called "All I want to do is kiss on your face."
I really wish I was capable of these kind of basic feelings that I seem to be missing somehow.
There is no Facebook group "I sort of sometimes feel like kissing on your face but I'm not sure if I just think that because it seems like a logical thing to do given societal expectations and if I did do that I would probably regret it, especially if it turned out that I really did just want to because I thought it was the "right" thing to do and I didn't actually want to at all which might make me cry which would be awkward and also you've got a fucking enormous mouth."

My Facebook Wall

2010-07-21T10:47:00.002+12:00

Pumpkin Soup

2010-07-20T14:27:00.001+12:00

I have to get dressed today because I'm going to the doctor's. I hate going there, especially because you never know if it's going to be the nice woman or the slightly dismissive Indian guy. Also because they don't do appointments so you just have to turn up and wait. I like things to be planned.
For a couple of hours everyday I can remember what it feels like to like things and to want to do things, which is nice, but then it only makes me feel worse when it goes away again. Clel asked me what I thought of this house that he was really keen for and I said that I thought they should go for it but to count me out and he just said nah, we can find another one. Which isn't quite what I wanted. I'd like to be able to drive so it wouldn't matter as much that I live this far away, and I could move out perhaps next year or the year after. It feels weird to have no strong feelings towards anything, one way or the other. Tyra made me feel weird today, also. It was about getting your man to marry you and I can't remember what it feels like to be keen on someone.
I haven't been able to write anything for a long time and recently I also can't listen to music. I certainly can't write any music.
My sort-of friend from class had this lump in his cheek and it turned out it was a tumour and he had to have it taken out during the holidays. Now he has a plaster and Eliza texted me to say when I see it not to make Nelly jokes, which I couldn't really imagine myself doing anyway. I really hope I can make it to class tomorrow and not just stay at home being hysterical. I wish that were an exaggeration.
Tomorrow night I'm going to see The Room, which I can at one point remember being excited about. Tim is coming which I was never excited about, but I would have liked to be. I think we must have had fun at some point but I can't really remember that right now. Oh, we had fun one time when we couldn't think of a line to complete a song that we'd written, it was supposed to fulfil our sappiness quota, and so just tried to fit in more and more obscene things. We tried to introduce a new Cockney rhyming slang, coin to mean erection. Michael Garelja was there but he had to leave to go ice skating. Then Naomi came home and got in an argument with Tim because she said that she had got along just fine for the last eighteen years without knowing what Cockney rhyming slang was so she didn't see any reason to start knowing now. Then he pretended he had to go to the supermarket and buy a zucchini to get away from her.
We had another fun time once when we recorded Gay Man Song and I Love How You Cover, even though I'd had such a horrible day that day and there was this weird brown liquid coming out from the carpet and we had to burn all this incense to try and cover the smell up. That was a really fun time. I think that might have been the last fun time before Bad Times Saturday. Oh no, there was a time in between when I, eugh, I did something that I shouldn't have done.
This episode of Ghost Whisperer is ridiculous, this man and his son were riding around on a lawnmower on a fancy lawn and they lost control and the son got run over and died.
Oh and now they're playing Coldplay and the other son's jumped off the roof!
I want to watch last week's Grey's Anatomy before the series finale tonight but I thought I might be too upset by it. Not because I get emotional about things like that but you know, last night I started crying when Maggie lost her balloon on The Simpsons. I feel all right right now though! Oh I hope so badly that this lasts more than just a couple of hours this time.
My mum's coming to The Room because she was being all grumpy about picking me up which is good also because then I won't panic.
Ooh, it turned out the roof jumping son was the one who was riding around on the lawnmower.

How Evaluative!

2010-07-19T14:13:00.001+12:00

Feeling kind of gross. Not completely distraught any more but just kind of weird.
I'll probably be despairing again soon.
I'm not at the first class of the semester. I had to leave at around 11:30 to get there by 1 and it was at about 11:20 that I stopped being hysterical which wasn't enough time to get ready. This makes me think that I really should move out so that it doesn't take an impossibly long time to get to Uni but recently I've had a hard enough time going outside, let alone moving to another place completely. This is why I'm not going to look at a house with everyone today. I don't want to say that I'm too scared to move out and they'll have to find someone else. Hopefully they won't get this one and I won't have to worry for awhile. I know it sounds ridiculous but I don't want to live near Mt Eden Foodtown because I associate it with myself being miserable. My mum said that I should stop worrying about moving and just stay at home.
Eugh, this MaxFactor ad is gross. I don't want to accentuate the curves of my lips.
My mum thought that maybe seeing my old friends would cheer me up so I talked to Katie but she was really upset about having a fight with her kind-of boyfriend and not liking uni, so that was unhelpful.
Oh, a text from Tim. He says, "New postcard! Best postcard."
I would feel weird if the only communication I had with my mum was via postcard.
The other day I was talking about how I like my neck and Tim said he doesn't like anything about himself and then apologised profusely for being maudlin. I said he had good ears and then he told me to look properly and it turned out one is higher than the other and the... you know the top part of your ear that curves around? Yeah, somehow the middle part stuck out more than that. Then I said he had quite good teeth and it turned out that one of them was totally fake. So I gave up on that.
One of my Facebook friends got engaged today. That was weird. They'd just been on a bible study trip across the north east of America. That's not something that I'm ever going to do.
I hope one day I like someone that much.
"I think Clel has food poisoning. He keeps vomiting in public. I want DNA results!" This made me laugh.
Clel is tiny and angry and ginger. He drives a ridiculously oversized car. He invited us all to his end of semester performance where he sang a song about how his friends are ugly and all girls are stupid. He is in a band called Milkshake Cowboyz and always tests out microphones by saying I'm Gay into them.
He's gone all yellow. Tim is taking him to the doctor.
Stupid Tim, being all nice. He's always all nice to me and it's dumb because I want him to be a dick so I can just hate on him and it would be great. But nooo he's all, Having a better day today? and Do you want me to just leave you be? and I don't even care because I'm a spazeface.
I'm glad that a ghost whisperer has never come up to me at the farmers' market and told me that I'm not alone.
I've been panicking for a whole month today. That's a long time. What a poor use of time.

I might write more blogs.

Oh no

2010-07-18T18:56:00.003+12:00

I was wrong.